Australian flag Friday 26th November 1993
Sydney, Australia

Football Stadium

Note: The quality of my MP3 is quite poor, making parts of it extremely difficult to transcribe. Please let me know if you have a better quality clip or you've been able to decipher anything I couldn't – do any Aussies recognise or remember what the crowd are singing?

MacPhisto: "Jolly good. That's wonderful. Look what you've done to me. You've made me very famous and I thank you."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "I know you like your pop stars to be exciting so I bought these." [shows off platform boots] "Don't they look glamorous?"

Crowd: [cheers and whistles]

MacPhisto: "Quite a spectacle, ZooTV, isn't it? Costs a fucking fortune."

Crowd: [laughter and cheers]

MacPhisto: [inaudible] "Well, I, uh... I'd just like to say that... I'm very disappointed by the way you're treating the, um... the monarchy."

Crowd: [boo]

MacPhisto: "I believe that it's... a shame, and I would like to say, as an Englishman, that... I used to babysit the Queen, and, um... I'm personal friends with the Queen Mother whom you tried to kill off just the other day."

Crowd: [laughter and cheers]

MacPhisto: "Style and swagger – don't you like Lady Diana's [sounds like "friendship"]?"

Crowd: [wolf whistles]

MacPhisto: "So why are you trying to sever links with the Crown?" [outraged] "After all we've done for you!  Fish 'n' chips... punk rock... even your national sport, the game of cricket; where would you be without us?!"

Crowd: [boo]

Crowd: [singing – inaudible]

MacPhisto: "I beg your pardon?"

Crowd: [singing continues]

MacPhisto: "Shall I give Lady Diana a telephone call?"

Crowd: "Yeah!"

MacPhisto: "Let's see what she has to say about all of this, then. How [sounds like "pro"] she is."


MacPhisto: [singing – inaudible] "I just called... to say..."

Crowd: [laughter]

Woman: "Hello?"

MacPhisto: "Hello, I'd like to speak to the Queen Mother, please."

Woman: "I will get her for you. One momento."

MacPhisto: [sounds like "Throw up the usual discussions about trade."] "Hello, I'd like to speak to the Queen Mother, please. ...Hello? Lady Diana?"

Different woman: "Hello?"

MacPhisto: "Is that Lady Diana?"

Woman: "Hello possum!  How are you, darling?"

Crowd: [cheer]

Woman: [laughs]

MacPhisto: "I was looking for... Lady Diana or the Queen Mother. Wh-who's this?"

Woman: "This is Dame Edna here, you naughty little devil!"

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "Australian royalty!  Oh... um-- I, I don't know what to say, I'm just here with a few friends and we're talking about this dear old woman ourselves. We were wondering if – heaven forbid – something should happen to the old dear, you might be in line for a promotion?"

Dame Edna: "I'd love to step into those shoes!  I would!  But how did you get my number, though? Only Lenny Kravitz has got my number!" [laughs]

MacPhisto: "I borrowed his suit and it was left in the, er, pocket actually."

Dame Edna: "Oh, golly. Have you got a show tomorrow?"

MacPhisto: "I'm always on stage as it were, Dame."

Dame Edna: "Oh. You must come and see me, I'm in Sydney for two weeks – at the State Theatre!"

MacPhisto: "Advertising [inaudible] here on ZooTV!"

Dame Edna: "In a spooky coincidence, because I was at the zoo today, darling!"

MacPhisto: "...Yes?"

Dame Edna: "I was-- I thought of your beautiful album, Zooropa!"

MacPhisto: "A-haa...!"

Dame Edna: "I reall-- I adore it. Is there anyone at your show tonight?"

MacPhisto: "Well, there's a few here."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "If, uh... if you're interested in a little song, perhaps, Y-Your Highness...?"

Dame Edna: "Ohh, just call me Edna. You know you always do. You're very good."

MacPhisto: [chuckles ironically]

MacPhisto: [sings] "God save our gracious Dame, long live our noble Dame, God save our Dame!  Send her victorious!  Happy and glorious!  Long to live over us... God save our Dame!"

MacPhisto: "Hurrah!"

Dame Edna: "Thank you, Bo-no!  I mean – thank you Bono!"

[Lemon begins]

MacPhisto: "Au revoir!"

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