Norwegian flag Thursday 29th July 1993
Oslo, Norway

Valle Hovin Stadion

[Desire ends with MacPhisto calling "Goodnight John-Boy!"]

MacPhisto: "Goodnight John-Boy, [inaudible]... always good."

MacPhisto: [sings] "Try a taste of Martini... the most beautiful drink in the world!  It's the bright one... that's the right one, it's Martini!"

Crowd: [applause]

MacPhisto: "I thought I'd sing this one for the neighbours, they've been so good – thank you. What a wonderful show, what a wonderful night; what a wonderful country you have here. So..."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "Ahh, the fjords; the wildlife is so wonderful here!  And what's all the fuss about the whales?"

Crowd: [laughter / boo]

MacPhisto: "I mean, I don't understand it – what have the whales ever done for us, eh?"

Crowd: [cheer]

[Man in crowd: "Kill the whales!"]

[Second man: "Eat them!"]

MacPhisto: "They're unemployed... they don't pay taxes... and they take up a lot of room, don't you think?"

Crowd: [applause]

MacPhisto: "I have a friend here, and he taught me all about the whale. His name is Mr Olsen. I believe he's your Minister for the Fisheries – shall I give him a telephone call?"

Crowd: "Yeah!"

MacPhisto: [sounds like "No booing... here. You're so macho."] "Ahh... when you're famous, everybody gives you their telephone number! Jan Henry Olsen, let me see."


MacPhisto: "Zero-eight-three, four-eight, three-three-two. You can call him tomorrow if you like!"

Man: "Hallo."

MacPhisto: "Hello, I'd like to speak to Mr Olsen, please."

Man: "Yes."

MacPhisto: "Is this Mr Olsen?"

Man: "Yes."

MacPhisto: "Oh, I'm..."

Crowd: [loud cheer]

MacPhisto: "I'm jolly, jolly pleased to get through to you. My name is Mr MacPhisto."

Olsen: "How do you do?"

MacPhisto: "I'm very well, thank you, I'm here with a few friends."

Crowd: [laughter and cheers]

Olsen: "I can hear them in the background!"

MacPhisto: "And, I must say, um – we all here agree, um, that the whales, all the fuss about the whales is just complete madness, and we'd just like to say to you that – we think that, um... whales have done nothing for us, and we should put a tax on them at least!"

Olsen: [laughs]

MacPhisto: "What do you think, Mr Olsen?"

Olsen: "My opinion is that, er, if they were threatened, we shouldn't catch them, but as long as there, there are-- they are safe stocks, we shall do that, because of the food."

MacPhisto: "Ahh..." [drowned out by crowd noise]

Crowd: [loud cheering and chanting]

Olsen: "Are you hoping..." [drowned out by crowd noise]

MacPhisto: "Well I haven't, actually – I'm, I must say this to you, that, um – I'm, you know, I have absolutely no time for people who like whales or dolphins, myself... and I'm sure that if you catch them, you'll eat them all yourself, won't you Mr Olsen!"

Olsen: "No, I won't, because I can't manage that, but, er... I'm very glad that very many Norwegians want that, but, er--"

MacPhisto: "D'you like to munch on a whale yourself, do you?"

Olsen: "I take a bit, yes."

MacPhisto: "Aha, you like the odd whale steak!"

Olsen: "I'm going to have a whale steak tomorrow. D'you want to come and have dinner with me?"

Crowd: [laughter and loud cheers]

MacPhisto: [drowned out by crowd noise] "You're so very kind. Mr Olsen..."

Olsen: "Yes?"

MacPhisto: "I think you and I are going to get on just fine!"

Crowd: [laughter]

[Ultra Violet begins]

Olsen: "I hope so, because I like you very much too!"

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