MacPhisto: "Off with the horns, on with the show."

Crowd: [applause]

MacPhisto: "Do you know who I am?"

Crowd: "YEAH!"

MacPhisto: "Because I know who you are. I know you probably even better than you know yourself. I thought all this up. This is MY band."

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "Do you know who Helmut Kohl is? He's becoming a very good friend of mine."

[Man in crowd: (shouting incoherently) "I love Helmut Kohl!"]

MacPhisto: "He stays asleep a lot... I like that in the man. Shall we give him a telephone call?"

Crowd: [cheer]

MacPhisto: "He likes his pop stars to be exciting, too. That's why I bought these. Shall I tell him all about it, then? I think I have his phone number."

[dials]

MacPhisto: "That's zero, two-two-eight, five-six-zero."

Woman: "Bundeskanzler."

MacPhisto: "Hello, I'd like to speak to He-- the Chancellor, Helmut Kohl, please."

Woman: "Es geht leider nicht."

MacPhisto: "Hello, could you help me? I speak English."

Woman: "A little bit, one moment..."

MacPhisto: "Thank you very much, you're so very kind."

Man: "Ja? ...Hallo."

MacPhisto: "Hello. My name is Mr MacPhisto, and I'd like to speak to Helmut Kohl, please."

Man: "Oh, Helmut Kohl is, er-- is not, er, office."

MacPhisto: "He's not available?"

Man: "No... Helmut Kohl is not in the office."

MacPhisto: "He's not in the office."

Man: "No."

MacPhisto: "I see. I... I had that feeling. Um... tell me, could I leave him a message?"

Man: "Message? Wh-what is, er, your office?"

MacPhisto: "My name is MacPhisto, and I'd like to thank him for letting me back into the country."

Crowd: [cheer]

Man: "No. We, er-- you, you telephone... er, Monday... er..."

MacPhisto: "No..."

Man: "8 o'clock..."

MacPhisto: "I'm-- I'd like to leave it with you. Is that alright?"

Man: "Uh? Er... uhh - oh!... I have, er, telephone... er, OK, thank you." [rings off]

MacPhisto: "You're a very kind gentleman. I haven't been here for a while, but I'm back!  I'm BAAACK!"